SAYING YES TO GOD

Saying Yes to God.jpeg
 

What does it mean to say Yes to God?  To me, it's nothing more or less than being faithful to the truest, deepest longing of one's heart.  Certainly we all have longings, and certainly many are superficial and self-serving, but at the center is a desire that's honest and pure.  If we can pair that honesty with courage, overcome our fears and self-doubt, everything we think, say, or do become an assent to God. 

This was best demonstrated in my life when I became an Atheist.  At the time I thought I was saying No to God, consistent with the conventional view of faith.  Outwardly I did say No and meant it quite completely, but inwardly I was saying Yes without knowing it.  My Yes stance stemmed from unflinching honesty about God's unconditional love.  He is steadfast.  He is true.  He is the father of the prodigal, incredulous that his child would think he could ever be unworthy.  How could this father ever banish his children to eternal darkness?  So when I said No to God, I was really saying No to an idol, a false image of God that has no basis in reality.  Even though I considered myself an Atheist, I'd never really said No to God at all.  Instead, I was actually saying Yes.

Simeon Weil once wrote:

It seemed to me certain, and I still think so today, that one can never wrestle enough with God if one does so out of pure regard for the truth. Christ likes us to prefer truth to him because, before being Christ, he is truth. If one turns aside from him to go toward the truth, one will not go far before falling into his arms.

This beautiful thought has been true of my experience, and the fruits of the journey both away from my old image and back toward a re-imagined God have been transformative and only possible because of my fidelity to my deepest longing.  Fidelity to the truth is the meaning of Yes and the meaning of faith, which appeared contradictory on the surface, but were in fact the epitome of divine engagement.

 
JournalBrian Hall