I find myself in a strange place. Do I dare say the cumulative weight of the past few years has done its work? I was walking in the hills yesterday, when I realized I had crossed over into a sort of freedom, a new awareness unshackled from any of my old desires.
Read MoreCome to me, my love; I’m ready for your gift. Ready to wed. Ready to become what you’re becoming. Ready for who I am to be recovered from the void, to be redeemed in you. Ready to be what you know I am, what you say I am, what you see mirrored in our love. I am here. And I am yours.
Read MoreI previously wrote of self-emptying and an outward, rather than inward, focus, and I want to explore this further. For while desire is customarily experienced from a place of lack (whether selfishly or selflessly focused), this is only half of the story.
Read MoreBeing a Type 4 on the Enneagram, I’m prone to doing things in fits and starts, in brief bursts of creative inspiration or spontaneous adventure. Consistency isn’t my strength, with perhaps one, rare exception: if there’s a wrong way to do something, rest assured I’ll give it a go. It won’t be a cursory exploration either; no, I’m usually fool enough to plunge its depths and see where it leads. I’m all in.
Read MoreThe unconscious mind can't be reasoned with. Surrender can't be injected into it as a concept. It doesn't pay to address it with persuasive or powerful arguments. It's language isn't words, but experiences. It learns inductively by living, drawing out general or universal applications from particular events. If I pray to live as Jesus or Paul lived - not my, but Christ's life in me - my old life, my old, false self, must be surrendered and that surrender doesn't come easy. That total surrender must be lived and it must be real.
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