A GLANCE TOWARD EGYPT
I've heard the Hebrews' wilderness wandering is the archetype for all those on the spiritual journey, and I'm beginning to see why. Even Jesus wandered about in the desert for a period of time. I've been quite down since the New Year and just recently realized the only thing that changed in my life was my active intention of finding a new job. Needless to say it's not going well. My resume doesn't tell an attractive story, so both my personal attempts and my recruiter's efforts are coming up empty. This has caused me a certain level of distress, which has left me sullen, even despondent. I've lost all semblance of a sleep pattern and as of Valentine's Day have lost 45 lbs. since October.
Then I thought of the wilds, of the wandering Hebrews, and recognized myself in them. Why, oh why, Lord did you take me out of corporate America, to pull me away from everything I've ever known, only to leave me here, living with my parents, unable to take care of myself, utterly without a home or a purpose, wandering around like an impotent fool? Just put me back where you found me, because it was better than being dragged out here to languish and die.
My attempts to find a job reveal themselves as a direct attempt to return to Egypt. I’m left to conclude that whatever future God has in mind for me will be different from what’s come before. I walk in the dark, not knowing what that is, nor where I am going, and am reminded of the Parable of the Ten Virgins. The bridegroom is coming. I don’t know when, nor what will happen when he does, but am singularly tasked with being ready for him whenever he does. So I'm going to retrain my focus on what God is doing to prepare me spiritually for whatever comes next. Once the older generation died, once Jesus made it through the temptations, something new emerged, fully-formed, and ready to be effectively directed and used by God. I just hope the pattern holds in my case...