THE SIN OF SELF-CONDEMNATION
A teacher recently asked what the Spirit convicts me of, thinking I would respond “sin.”
The Spirit convicts me of my own self-condemnation.
I don’t understand. Why would the Spirit convict you for condemning your own sins?
I don't give a damn about sin management or care one iota about any particular, isolated instance of it. I don't think Christ is interested in it either; instead, I believe he means to stamp it out at its source. This source is hidden in the shadows, in the dark places where I conceal what I don’t want others to see. I condemn myself, say “if they only knew,” and conclude they must never know. The source, then, is all my weakness, my sense of lack, everything within me I choose not to face. I hide from others, from myself, and even from God.
The Spirit convicts me of hiding and calls me to face what is hidden, to hold the broken parts of me in its light, to not turn away in shame. I mustn’t judge, mustn’t bristle, mustn’t run. This is the necessary first step in overcoming sin, the insidious lie that I could ever be anything but one with and loved by God.