SPIRITUAL NOURISHMENT
Recently, a trusted friend advised me to consider reviving my inner work. She was well acquainted with the issues I faced previously and my ultimate reason for swearing off mysticism. She observed that I'd come a long way since then and noted there needn't be any hint of my former methods. She suggested I merely open myself completely to him and rest in his presence.
Despite my fear, I decided to try letting God in. I've been through way too much to not give it a chance. The seeker is advised to taste God and see that he is good and is well advised. For when I let God in, what I received wasn't an alien presence or external possession poking around in my mind. What I received was myself - the missing part of myself. God is the missing part of me that up to that moment had been filled with shadow, an impenetrable darkness I'd futilely analyzed and dissected, but could never understand or overcome.
In an instant, the shadow was gone. God allowed me to walk in that state for a measure of days, providing me with a glimpse of what's possible. Discovering whether such a state can be maintained will require more stillness and willingness to let God pull me through in due course, at his pace. But it's a key moment, a turning point I’ve been waiting for, for a very long time.