Posts in Ex Nihilo
THE END OF ME

In end-time philosophy, there's a concept of the Eschaton, a pivotal moment that signifies the fundamental shift from the old to the new.  The old is dying, and I rest on a razor's edge.  I cannot escape or even move and have no idea what happens next.  My soul is laid bare and the Eschaton awaits.

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Ex NihiloBrian Hall
INFINITE LOVE

For some reason beyond my understanding, I've always had an affinity for the outcast, the broken, the ones others had given up on, said didn't belong, or pushed to such alienation and bitterness that they lashed out against others or, more often, themselves.

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Ex NihiloBrian Hall
DREAMS AND VISIONS

I closed my eyes, focused my energy upon the crown of my head, and let go.  Immediately, the headache faded, and I felt a warm glow alight upon me.  As my attention shifted upward, this glow stretched out vertically, beyond my range of sight, and God said: Climb.  So I climbed.

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Ex NihiloBrian Hall
RESISTANCE

I’m encountering escalating pushback from people I love concerning where my new desire for unconditional dependence on God may lead.  I know it’s unconventional to say the least, and is being cast as selfish and irresponsible.  Sadly, I confess I'm having difficulty managing this.

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Ex NihiloBrian Hall
TRUE LOVE

As far back as I can remember, I’ve fought to conceal a dark, horrible truth from myself.  Since I was a young child, love has always been of preeminent importance to me; however, it has never manifested properly at the cognitive or behavioral levels.  I’ve only recently made this connection on the conscious level and begun to unpack the reasons and the wake of ramifications resulting from this disconnect.

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Ex NihiloBrian Hall
A COMING REVOLUTION

God has been hinting to me for a very long time that my reason for being is creation.  I suppose this doesn’t come as much surprise, despite the way I’ve structured my life by normally playing it safe and defaulting to my more consistently-reliable analytical nature.

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Ex NihiloBrian Hall
EVERYTHING MUST GO

I've written of shedding my identity, of freely handing it over to God and becoming one with him, but it seems my expectations are in need of substantial revision.  I sat on the porch the other day when God revealed just how substantial.

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Ex NihiloBrian Hall
REST IN AN ARID LAND

If there's insufficient strength, understanding, or acceptance for me to walk right now, perhaps sitting for a while is exactly what God wants me to do.  I'll sit in silence and trust that whatever is needed will find its way to me. 

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Ex NihiloBrian Hall
MISPLACED ENMITY

Having received this wisdom, it's hard to accept how utterly inept I've been transferring the lessons I learned of my feminine aspect to my masculine.  It should have been obvious, especially having come to realize how much my feminine aspect so desperately needed its counterpart, but the recognition was slow in coming.

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Ex NihiloBrian Hall
ON GOD'S TERMS

I am presently experiencing a divergence or evolution of what has come before, for the time for easy answers and clearly-marked features along the path has receded from view.  Perhaps the time for clarity will come again, but it's clearly not the season.

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Ex NihiloBrian Hall
STORMY SEAS

For years now, God has incessantly prodded me to close this chapter in my life and leave financial services behind.  It started in a period of relative calm and security, and when he spoke I listened.

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Ex NihiloBrian Hall
ON A BREEZE

The Spirit of God truly is like the wind. God's motion is a gentle breeze, providing direction and subtle, quiet promptings when you listen to it with an open heart.

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Ex NihiloBrian Hall
THE ORACLE

When it comes to the spiritual life, it's not enough to believe something in the academic sense.  What does it take to make it more?  Oftentimes life, in all its grittiness, is needed to carve out a path through the obstacles all our genuine, but misguided efforts create.

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Ex NihiloBrian Hall
REFLECTIONS ON A FAITH DECONSTRUCTED

When I left Christianity, there were two closely-related issues that drove me away.  One was the existence of Hell, the other the requirement of worship, and both appeared to contradict my understanding of God's love.  Recently, God has reached out to reveal additional truths about both of these issues and heal the pain these two issues inflicted on me. 

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Ex NihiloBrian Hall
MORE ON DIVINE UNION

I get the sense when God's love is fully manifested in a person, the very concept of sacrifice loses its meaning.  Love empties itself and sees it as the culmination of its purpose and its joy.

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Ex NihiloBrian Hall
THE BODY OF CHRIST

The body of Christ is not a metaphor.  It's real.  If I am one with God and others are one with God, I am one with them as well.  We are a family, but even more than a family - a living organism, connected with each other and parts of a larger whole.

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Ex NihiloBrian Hall
SPIRITUAL NOURISHMENT

The seeker is advised to taste God and see that he is good, and is well advised indeed.  For when I let God in, what I received wasn't an alien presence or external possession poking around in my mind.  What I received was myself - the missing part of myself.

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Ex NihiloBrian Hall
THE CRITICAL JOURNEY

Up to this point in the journey, I may have survived and progressed according to my own skill, smarts, or cunning, but this wall is impassible.  The only way around is through it, and it's impregnable to all my efforts.  I see now it's God who must pull me through.

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Ex NihiloBrian Hall